continued from last post: Pepto Bismol Pink
At that stage of my life, I drank a lot! I meant A LOT!! I was always drunk. 5 or 6 times a week! I remember eating rice, canned corn and barbecue sauce for 2 weeks just so I had enough money for beer. I was out of control, but, as much as I drank, I was always the guy that preached, “Don’t drink and drive!” The morning after, as I looked in the mirror, all I could see staring back at me, was a complete hypocrate.
“How the Hell Did I Get Here?” I felt so lost.
In the following months, I went through court dates, fines, legal fees, vehicle repair costs. I had to have a device installed in my vehicle that you had to blow into, so that I could start my vehicle. Let me tell you this, after She left me, and I finally decided to date again, there is nothing more embarrassing than picking up a date, escorting her to your vehicle and then telling her, “Give me 30 seconds while I blow and hum into this and we will be on our way!”
I was now a criminal! Wow!
The worst part of it all, is the pain that I caused so many people. Family, friends, – all because of a selfish decision.
For months and even years, that fateful evening was a source of pain and embarrassment. It was one of my Inner Villains. I would never talk about all the pain, all the embarrassment. I thought people would look at me differently if they found out. I thought if people knew, I’d end up all alone.
I have this theory that everyone is offered their own unique “rock bottom” moment. Each “rock bottom” is different. For one person, they could find themself addicted to drugs and living on the streets. While another person may experience “rock bottom” by losing their wife and children in a nasty divorce. Whatever the circumstances are, “rock bottom” moments are gifts that offer the opportunity for someone to gain clarity and choose a different path in life.
It took me a long time but, eventually, I recognized that fateful evening was a turning point in my life. My turn around wasn’t immediate. I still struggled, and I still made some big mistakes along the way but this was my gift, my “rock bottom” experience.
I’m often asked, “What did you take away from this experience?”
I think the most important thing that I took away from that night was that it made me ask 2 very important questions:
1. How the Hell Did I Get Here?
and
2. Where do I want to go?
I know how the hell I got there and now, I am in the middle of going where I want to go and it will never include going backwards!
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }