I was driving out to do a presentation for work and I started to think about my 35 for 35 list. The list that I created months back, of things I wanted to do or accomplish over the calendar year that I turned 35. It was a way to push me out of my comfort zone.

#BuckABurpee was a huge success! We raised almost $19,000 for @rmhna! On a personal note, I feel like I was the one who received the greatest gifts. Besides my shoulders growing twice the size, I was able to spend 35 days focused on trying to help families like Kyler’s. I walked away with a sweet #KylerShirt too. The biggest thanks goes out to @melshashea who really put the whole #BuckABurpee idea together. I reached out to her to ask her to help me celebrate my 35 birthday in a special way. I’d say #MissionAccomplished and then some. Thank you Melsha! I could not and would not have done this without you. #Grateful4You via realscottweller

I’m the type of person that typically likes to just ignore my birthday and pretend it’s just another day. No big deal! Even though “Making a big deal out of my birthday” did not make my 35 for 35 list, I knew I wanted to try and make the celebration of my birthday something special. That’s when I knew I needed help.

“Melsha, can I ask a favor? Can you help me plan my birthday?”

“Sure,” she responded.

Over the next few weeks, Melsha came up with a perfect suggestion. “What do you think about trying to raise $7,525 for Ronald McDonald House Northern Alberta which would cover the operational costs for a family to stay at The House for 35 nights?”

Perfect! That’s why I asked Melsha for her help. She’s brilliant!

The only thing we had to figure out was how to raise the money. We threw a few ideas around. A guest bartending event. A silent auction. We even threw around the idea of raffling off a date with Scott Weller but decided we needed some ideas that were actually going to raise money.

One night, Melsha, her husband Matt and I went for a tea and chili after a workout and Matt presented an idea, “What about burpees? I would pay $20 to make you have to do 20 burpees.”

“Really? You would?”

“Absolutely,” Matt confirmed.

I looked at Melsha, we nodded at each other and it was decided. Even the name Buck-A-Burpee was Matt’s idea. It’s amazing what a good bowl of chili can create.

That’s how I came to do 7,525 burpees in 35 days to try and raise $7,525 for Ronald McDonald House Northern Alberta. A goal that we accomplished plus a little extra.

A little insider secret: The original idea was to have me do 7,525 burpees in 35 HOURS!! I am so grateful we came to our senses in time!

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Just before Christmas, my boss gave me an envelope, shook my hand and said, “I just wanted to say Thank You for everything you’ve done for us this year.”

I took that envelope home and opened it later that evening. There was a nice card and a couple $500 gift cards for fuel. Wow! That’s pretty awesome! I put them down on the counter and went on with my evening.

A few hours later, the fuel cards entered my mind again. “Do I really need $1000 of fuel? Or is there someone out there who could use them more than me?”

I jumped up, walked over to my desk, grabbed my phone and took a picture of one of the gas cards, posted it on my Instagram feed with a caption that read:

I’m looking to be even more random with this#randomactofkindness. Here is a $500 has card. Nominate someone who you think would be most#grateful to receive this gift just ahead of the#HolidaySeason. One catch; you can’t nominate you or your family. #RAK #35for35

You know what happened next? I had people from Facebook, Twitter and Instagram reaching out and nominating people who they knew needed a boost around The Holidays. Some of the stories that were shared were heart-wrenching. So much so, that I then added in the second of the two $500 fuel gift card.

How do you like this #FruitBasket? #RAKattack is back!! For anyone who hasn’t seen a #RAKattack, the rules are: 1. Nominate someone who is going through a tough time and could use a pick-me-up. 2. You can’t nominate yourself. 3. To make your nomination, simply post below, or private message me with the persons name and why they deserve this $250 #GroceryGiftCard from #SaveOnFoods via realscottweller

When it came to making a decision on who would receive one of the gift cards, it was way too difficult to choose from all the incredible stories. Everyone was equally deserving. So, I put everyone into a hat (it was actually a Popeyes Supplements shaker cup) and drew names for the two gift cards.

I ended up giving away the two gift cards to two people who were going through extremely challenging times in life. I was told by one of them, that without the gift card, they would not have been able to drive at all. That is exactly what I wanted to hear. The gift cards went to someone who needed them and not just to someone who didn’t like the idea of paying $1.10 a liter.

Since then, I have continued with what has now been coined The #RAK (Random Act of Kindness) Attack. The #RAKattack’s have continued since then, asking people to nominate people that they know who could use a bit of sunshine. This sunshine has typically come in the way of a grocery gift card worth $250. Each and every time I have given one of these gift cards away, it’s always been to a well-deserving person who is at a stage in life, where they could really use something positive, a Random Act of Kindness.

If you know of anyone who could use a #RAKattack, stay tuned on my Facebook, Twitter and Instagram feeds. Or, start your own #RAKattack. It doesn’t need to be a $250 gift card. It can be anything. It can be a cup of coffee or even some of your time. Maybe you shovel someone’s sidewalk for a month. The ideas are endless. The important part is that you let your heart guide you.

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“What would you do if you won the lottery?”

Believe it or not, this wasn’t the first time I had ever been asked this question. If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably explored this question hundreds of times throughout your life and you may have even gone through the different phases in life that I have that led to different responses to this question.

15 year old Scott’s response:

“Sweet! Now I can afford a Sega Genesis and a Super NES!”

20 year old Scott’s response:

“Call everyone we know! Let’s have a party! KEG PARTY!!!”

25 year old Scott’s response:

“Phew! Just in time! I ran out of beer after last night’s KEG PARTY!”

30 year old Scott’s response:

“Sorry, I’m kind of busy right now. Can you come back later?”

Now, when you ask this almost 35 year old version of Scott, I find I spend more time thinking about my response.

Last week, while the jackpot rose to $50 million, my brother-in-law asked me, “What would you do if you won the lottery?”

I immediately responded with a stock answer that I can’t even remember anymore but as the week progressed, I kept returning to that experience. I kept thinking, “What would I do?”

My answers to that question surprised me:

• I would train my body and mind every day
• I would get involved in causes that I felt passionate about
• I would help my family and friends in any way I could
• I would share everything I’ve learned in an effort to help those around me

The thing that surprised me, was that everything on my list, I’m already doing right now.

You don’t need to win the lottery to live the life of your dreams. All you need to do is, every so often, take a step back and recognize that you’re already living the life of your dreams. You’re creating it every single day of your life.

I’m curious, what about you? If you won the lottery, what would you do?

Misery Loves Company!

Isn’t that the truth! In fact, back when to when I was a miserable person, I can remember that I surrounded myself with people who would not only subscribe to my misery but also help contribute to it as well. I would bitch about this, moan about that and as I did, I would attract more people into my life who did the exact same thing. Soon, you could see the negative snowball forming, growing and steamrolling over everything in its way.

The Negativity Epidemic

Even years after I committed to leaving that perspective on life behind, I’m still so intrigued by how quickly negativity can spread. A few days ago, I observed someone who started to complain about their weekend to one co-worker, and all of a sudden, that person had an entire crowd gathering around them.

#PositivityEpidemic #GetInfected #BecomeAnOutbreakMonkey via realscottweller

I stood there, sipping on my peppermint tea, wondering, “what is it that draws everyone so powerfully into that negativity?”

Then it hit me…

It’s an epidemic! The Negativity Epidemic

What is an Epidemic?

The definition of the word epidemic according to Merriam Webster is:

an outbreak of disease that spreads quickly and affects many individuals at the same time.

Introducing The Positivity Epidemic

First of all, I’ll apologize to any epidemiologists that may have accidentally stumbled across this post and find that I’m not completely accurate with my concepts of epidemiology – which is basically the study of epidemics.

Wikipedia states that “an epidemic occurs when new cases of a disease, in a given human population, and during a given period, substantially exceed what is expected based on recent experience.” – We see this represented in negativity everyday. It’s in the news, it’s all around us. Instead, why not turn this around and accept the virus of Positivity?

How to Trigger The Positivity Epidemic

Wikipedia also tells us that there are several changes that may occur in an infectious agent that may trigger an epidemic. These include:

Increased Virulence – the capacity for positivity to infect.

Introduction to a Novel Setting – the environment needs to not only support the infection but also promote it.

A Change in the Host’s Susceptibility – If the positivity epidemic is ever going to take hold, we need to let it infect us. Not fight it, not battle it. Accept it and let it spread!

Contrary to how we would typically respond to any other epidemic, we do not want to treat or control this virus. We are inviting everyone to expose themselves to it, contract it and then share it with everyone you know. Become an outbreak monkey and help the Positivity Outbreak grow, spread and take over!

Instead of isolating and controlling this virus, we are inviting everyone to expose themselves to it, contract it and then share it with everyone you know. Help the Positivity Epidemic grow and take over.

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You know when you get that initial goosebump that quickly spreads from the base of your head and it works it’s way through your neck into your shoulders and eventually through your entire body? I had that happen yesterday while I was visiting the Ronald McDonald House.

I was taking a moment to look around and I saw some of the best friends I have ever had, my nieces and nephew, my brother and his wife, my sister and her husband and my Mother. A smile crept across my face and I just let the goosebumps take over!

The #amazing group of #friends and #family who pitched in at #ronaldmcdonaldhouse yesterday painting decorations for #Christmas. via realscottweller

The moment I first stepped into The House, I felt something. Every time I have stepped in The House since, I have felt the same thing, just more intensely.

I was asked to share what were the 3 things I took away with me from my initial visit to Ronald McDonald House and, in no particular order, here they are:

The Size of The House – When I first stepped into The House, I was blown away at how big it is. 6 kitchens, 32 rooms, 2 elevators, an underground parkade and a barbeque patio that is a man’s dream come true! Sounds big right? As you tour The House, and you hear the stories about the 97% capacity, 500 families turned away each year, you realize that the square footage may be considered large, but The House is definitely not big enough to serve the need that exists.

The Magic Room – My favourite room in The House but I’m not going to ruin it for you. You just need to go and see it for yourself!

The Stories that Built The House’s Foundation – Usually when you build a house, you start with building a solid foundation and then you build the rest of the house up from there. Structurally, I’m certain The House was built on a solid foundation but the difference here is that with each family and each child that walks through the doors of The Ronald McDonald House, the foundation grows stronger. The stories provide strength for all of the families who come to stay at The House.

It doesn’t end there. The strength and the power of those stories can affect more than just the families who find themselves staying at The House. Those stories have the power to affect everyone who hears them. Speaking from experience, if you step into The House and you listen to the stories that live in those walls, that help strengthen that foundation, you can’t help but be affected by them, in an amazing way.

When I prepared My 35 for 35, one of the items I listed was “Become passionate about a cause.” Well, I think I’ve knocked that one off the list!

Over the last several weeks, I’m finding I am getting a lot of similar questions. So, to share my thoughts in response to these questions, I created “FAQ Directly from You.”

Today’s Question:

Scott, the things you write about, I don’t think I could write about those things and put it out to the world like you do! How do you do it?

The things I write about have a lot of emotion attached to them. I write about them for a few reasons:

Recovery – Writing about my experiences, especially the struggles, helps me process the experiences at an even deeper level which leads to greater recovery. The recovery is then stimulated even further when I can share my experience with those who are struggling through similar challenges. Which leads right into the next reason I write about what I write about

You Don’t Have to be Alone – As I faced the different situations in life, I felt very alone. I held everything inside because of embarrassment, fear, pride and because I’m a stubborn Taurus! What I realized through my recovery is that everybody has very similar struggles. What’s even more interesting is that all you want, all you crave is someone to understand but, if you’re anything like me, you isolate yourself because you don’t want to show “weakness.” Well let me tell you this, in my experience, the greatest display of strength is asking for help when you need it the most! I share my experiences because I want you to know that you’re not alone!

Something Inside is Screaming to be Let Out – I’m sure the first two points are contributors to this one but there’s also something more. I can’t really explain it other than that there’s something inside of me that’s screaming at me to let it out. For recovery, so that I don’t have to be alone, but also because there’s something more inside that’s tired of being told to wait it’s turn. It’s ready to get out and be a positive contribution.

Do you have any questions for Scott? Check out the Contact page to send Scott your question.

BUZZZZZZZZ!

“Hello?” comes a voice from the intercom.

“Hey, it’s me,” I respond.

“Come on up!”

I make my way to the elevator and press the button to take me to the second floor. “I wonder what she’s going to say,” I thought to myself, even though I was certain I already knew.

I stepped out of the elevator, turned left and started walking down the hall. The door on the right side of the hallway opened up and she poked her head out with a smile, “Hi Scott. Come on in.”

I walked in and after a few minutes of formalities, I sat on the couch and listened for the next several minutes while she shared her news with me.

“I want you to know, Scott… I am completely at peace with it. I’ve been preparing myself for this for a while.”

“Do you have any idea how long you have,” I questioned.

“No. It could be a few weeks, a few months… they’re really not sure,” she responded.

Is this for real? She’s beaten it before. Is this really the last battle? What does this mean? What happens next? The questions continued to silently swirl through my mind…

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

Truth is – I had no idea how I should react. I responded saying something like, “I’m just worried about Marie and Cathy. How are they taking the news?”

Over the years, I have conditioned myself to show strength by eliminating emotion, staying balanced and being supportive to those around me who are displaying a strong emotional response. This is the very approach that has led me to feeling an extreme level of loneliness and disconnection at times.

Last week, while I was in Lake Louise at a workshop for work, the subject of strength through vulnerability came up. We watched this video of Brene Brown sharing her perspective and experience with vulnerability.

“Vulnerability is not weakness!” “Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage.”

I was captivated and thought, “Wow! That is powerful!”

The truth is… I am scared! Not scared of the loss of someone so close to me but scared of having never experienced the loss of someone so close to me. This is unknown territory to me. I really have no idea what I’m supposed to do or how I’m supposed to react.

I’m scared that the people I care about most will turn to me for strength and I won’t be able to offer it. So… this is me trying a new way by remaining connected rather than disconnecting to avoid the pain. This is me asking, “What do you need from me, Mom?” This is me being vulnerable; this is me attempting to be purely courageous.

One of the quickest way to NOTget to where you want to be: Entitlement! It’s simple math… Entitlement = Disappointment

The moment you think you “deserve” something, you’ve lost any edge you may have over your competition, even if the only competition you have is yourself. The entitlement slope is a slippery one… You’ve been warned!

Entitlement is a subject discussed regularly in the industry I work in. What causes it? How to battle it? How to avoid it all together. I’m going to attempt to “ginger-ninja” these questions but first, lets help those who are unfamiliar with entitlement, understand what it is.

What is Entitlement?

Without attempting to insult any of the seven people reading this, if you don’t know what the word entitlement means, more than likely, you’re displaying characteristics of entitlement. The definition of entitlement is: “having a right to something.”

Signs of Entitlement

“I’m a senior this year, that means ill get lots of playing time.”

“I’ve been here the longest so that promotion is mine.”

If you find yourself saying things similar to this, do yourself a favour… STOP! Having this perspective or attitude is actually shoving you further from where you want to be.

What Causes Entitlement?

Your ego! The moment you think your poop don’t stink and that you deserve more than the next person, your tossing yourself over the edge of entitlement.

How to Battle Entitlement

If you notice that some of the phrases above are finding their way into your daily language, STOP! Give your head a shake and remind yourself that having an attitude of entitlement doesn’t serve you.

How to avoid Entitlement

1. Wake up everyday with a brand new slate. Celebrate your successes but never take for granted that they will get you through tomorrow.
2. Commit yourself to never ending your pursuit of your true potential. Excellence is an everyday activity!
3. Get an accountability partner. Team up with someone you trust to slap you upside the head if you start showing signs of entitlement.

Entitlement will not bring you any closer to what you want; only a vision and hard work gets you there!

What is Setting the Tone?

What the heck am I talking about?!?! No, it has nothing to do with musical instruments. Something to do with a copier or printer? Nope, guess again!

Imagine this scenario:

Inspirational Quotes Zig Ziglar Success (Photo credit: hot4sunny)

“I should have just stayed in bed. It’s just been one of those days,” are common phrases that one might use during a day where, early on, they were setting the tone leading to an avalanche of negativity which is sure to effect on the rest of the day.

The Definition of Setting the Tone

The definition of Setting the Tone is something someone says or does that sets the tone for an activity or event.

Setting the Tone in a Positive Way

We already discussed how negative events can set the tone for your day. What about looking at how you set the tone for your day to guarantee a positive start to your day? Is it possible to engineer how you set the tone to avoid those negative scenarios similar to the one we mentioned?

Absolutely!

How to Positively Set the Tone

Make a plan – take the time to plan out your morning. Make sure you won’t be rushed. Create a simple-to-follow routine that you can easily follow each and every day.

Start with something that inspires you – A quote, a piece of music, a good book; expose yourself to anything that leaves a positive, inspiring, motivational feeling inside of you.

Don’t settle for less – Most importantly, know that you are going to have a wonderful start to the day. Do NOT allow anything negative to creep into your mind. Slam the door on the negativity door-to-door salesman and don’t open up for him no matter what he says! You don’t need the $#!t he’s selling!

What Happens if Negativity Creeps In?

Just do 3 simple things:

STOP, BREATH and LET GO!

STOP –  Just STOP! Seriously… just STOP! Do NOT try to work harder or faster to try and get back on track. This will lead to greater frustration and, in most cases, just contribute to the negativity that’s crept into your day.

BREATH – Once you’ve found a place to sit down, focus on your breath and just breathe. Feel the breath coming in, refreshing your lungs… and then escaping out. Just BREATH!

LET GO – Let go of any negative events that have happened. They no longer serve you in any way so just LET GO.

If you followed these 3 steps, you have just hit the RE-BOOT button on your morning and you’re ready to re-start working on positively Setting the Tone for the rest of your day.

You really can positively Set the Tone for each and every day if you follow the steps above. Keep things simple! Let me know how it works for you!

If you’d like some help Setting the Tone in a positive way each and every morning, connect with me on Twitter @RealScottWeller.

Introducing The 3 Pillars

“Are you seeing anyone?”

“Nope,” I respond casually.

“Any prospects?”

“Nope,” I feel like I’m repeating myself.

“What? Why not?”

“It just doesn’t make sense to me,” knowing this is going to continue the conversation further.

“It doesn’t make sense? What are you talking about?”

“It doesn’t make sense for my 3 Pillars.”

“3 Pillars? What are you talking about, Scott?”

The conversation has started this way a number of times recently. I suppose that’s what I should expect when I am the only single one left in the family (except for my parents – different story for a different time).

I can’t remember where, when or who introduced me to the concept originally. I did a quick Google search to see if I could refresh my memory:

Google search for The 3 Pillars

Nope! That didn’t help at all! Definitely not based on the Three Pillars of the European Union. It has absolutely nothing to do with the Three Pillars of Sikhism. Only time will tell if this post addresses any of the Three Pillars of SEO but it will be completely unintentional.

So let me see if I can explain it in my own words…

First of all, what is a Pillar?

What is a Pillar?

So what are The 3 Pillars?

The 3 Pillars are the structures that support the load that exist in your life, no matter how heavy that load may be. These 3 Pillars are unique to each individual. It’s up to the individual to identify what YOUR 3 Pillars are.

What are Scott Weller’s 3 Pillars?

Family – I include in this Pillar close personal friends and, of course, Jaxie!

Health & Wellbeing – This Pillar includes gym time, relaxation or meditation, food and anything that contributes positively to my physical or mental condition.

Professional Life – This Pillar does not necessarily mean my job. It is anything I do to make a contribution outwardly based on my desire expand myself professionally.

Simplifying Life with the 3 Pillars

The 3 Pillars have simplified my life, especially since the beginning of 2013. How, you ask? Anytime I am faced with a choice of any significance, if that decision will result by impacting any of the 3 Pillars negatively, I won’t do it. The 3 Pillars allow you to clearly identify what you value most in life. When I face decisions that I may have seen as difficult previously, if I apply the 3 Pillars to the decision making process, my decisions become more consistent and keep me pointed in the direction I want to go.

The 3 Pillars in Action

If I were to meet a woman who I was attracted to, I would simply apply The 3 Pillars.

1. Does it make sense for Pillar 1 – Family?

2. Does it make sense for Pillar 2 – Health & Wellbeing?

3. Does it make sense for Pillar 3 – Professional Life?

If I answer “no” to any of the questions above, then it doesn’t make sense for me to add that person to my life in that role as a romantic partner.

Applying The 3 Pillars

The best part of applying The 3 Pillars, is that the are limitless areas in life that you can apply them to. Should I accept that new job? Should I go to this university or that college? Should I lick that metal pole on this sub-zero winter day?

The 3 Pillars will help you navigate through any choice that is placed in front of you by keeping that which you value most, at the forefront of any decision.

Feedback on The 3 Pillars

Do The 3 Pillars make sense to you? I’d love to hear your feedback which may lead to follow up posts about The 3 Pillars. If you have any questions, please feel free to email me by clicking here.

Thanks for reading!